Pooka

2000 - 2020

Pooka, my soul cat. It's been 7 long months since you've passed, and I still remember that day like it was yesterday. It was a Saturday, the days I usually spend with my human best friend having fun and making memories. I did make memories that day, but they were some of the hardest I have to reflect on. You were there from beginning to end. Every awful thing that happened, you were there. My rock. My confidant. My soulmate.
I didn't know love could hurt so badly, but it hurts like hell. I remember saying that if you had a choice in hurting me like this, I'd never have forgiven you. The pain is too much. But knowing you had no choice, you wanted to stay, brought me immense comfort. I know you never wanted to leave me, but I still hurt just thinking of the times we spent together. Trying to figure out what love really was. Trying to understand one another. And somehow succeeding.
Thank you for always staying, even now. I haven't taken the necklace that holds your ashes off since we parted ways. I hold it and miss you. I hold it and hope you're there.
I don't know what else to say. I love you. I miss you. I can't wait to see you again.